Staying the course

I have never been able to maintain the complete abstinence from eating foods that interfere with my energy for more than a few days in a row. Never a complete week, ever mind 10 days. I always wreck it. 
Why can I not listen to myself?
I believe I can 'get away with it'
I think I need to 'live a little'
I tell myself I 'will start tomorrow'
I feel so shit any way that I may as well eat shit right now
I lost the vision, or indeed, I do not have the vision
Or sometimes I eat shit and feel good afterwards
I need to feel good, so I eat shit for instant gratification

SO if I set myself a 10 day goal, what can I do to maintain it? Because I know that the feeling good feeling I hace rtight snow after coffee and cheesecake will not last and I will find myself weak and in a place that temptation calls loudly to me so I need to have a vision that is indeed stronger than tempation.
Oh ye of little faith.
Why is my vision so uninspiring that it cannot keep me on the lighted path to being a VWM?
Because no matter what I say, chemicals override my ability to feel good, and to feel like I am a VWM. Even when I try and channel energy from my god given sources.

maintain the vision
and know that the vision is not so far off into the future
and it is mine
I have to do it my way
not look at other people and say they ate shit and they are rich

Boat stays on top no matter the waves, keep the water out by keeping the chemistry

so what vision can I cling to then?
KNOW THAT IT IS MINE
it is my rule, and it is one that I must live by
without excuse
maintain the integrity of my own rule
it is god given
no man has imposed it upon me
i know it for myself

And tha this is my story
And that I must keep to the truth of my story.