What's your Frequency Apple?

Do I resonate on the frequency of others, or do I create my own?
And if so, what is my own?
I have to maintain awareness.
Of my frequency.
So let it be mountains standing tall and strong, sea, powerful and appealing, light on trees leaves, beautiful and magical, jasmine and yellow rose, and  honeysuckle, sweet and fragrant.

Mountain = posture, spine
Rose = beauty, cheeks
Sea = walk flow and yoga
Trees and leaves in the light = eyes, relax and let kindness shine through

So at any one time, I can be one, or all of  of these things.

focus, maintain awareness, and resonate on the frequency of God's world:
know the frequency: mediate upon it, feel it; then resonate with it.

1. Mountain - posture  (spine)
2. Rose - beautiful (cheeks)
3. Light and leaves - kindness (eyes)
4. Sea - flow  (moving)
5. Rain - abundance  (
6. Lake - calm, be still. Heart.
7. Birdsong, water flowing, breeze in leaves - peace, creativity (quiet time)

At any one time, I must be one or more of the above 5
this means no matter what I am doing, or who or what I am interacting with, I need to maintain inner awareness of the above.

My baseline is always one of rushing. In effect, this is me dying. me killing myself. Rushing is dying. It is changing the nature of my cells.
Focus on the rain, not the rush.
No matter what I am doing, maintain awareness and focus on the 7 saviors/

My background app is always running, saying that time is running out, I need to earn more more money, do more things. Hurry hurry means hastening, means hate hating the present moment.
Be still, and know that I am resonating on the frequency of love, which may be anyone of the above.

Chemical balance, chemical warfare

Sometimes, life is experienced as a torrid thing.
That is when I am chemically messed.
Then there is chemical warfare.
The only way to win is discipline.
Discipline is the way to experience love.
Even when I am being shouted at, I can remain calm. Because my chemistry is balanced.
My balance is constantly being challenged by people, circumstance, food, prayer.
it is regained through discipline in exercise, food, prayer, and how I conduct myself when I interact with others.

Shhhh, Show, don't tell

God hath no need of telling
God is always and constantly showing.
God did not speak 5000 years ago on the mountain, and then forever hold his peace.
God is here, now. Showing me. Not whispering imaginary things in my ear - but showing me. By the way I feel, by the things I experience.
1st, there was the word. And the word was love.

OK,

A chemical being having a spiritual experience

I am a chemical being having a spiritual experience.

I see now that human beings are designed to be constantly out of chemical balance, and constantly striving to regain the balance that is our comfort zone.

I am constantly chemically challenged.
And this is the way it is meant to be.

Strong posture for strength

A strong posture reminds me to be strong in my vision and my desire to be strong.
Imagine strength
and I will be strong
Unity, being One, that is strong.
Here in the present moment, here now, all of me
gather me, be one now.

i am not stronger than chemistry

I am chemistry
but I control it via the choices i make
eternal vigilance is required
feeling great now does not mean i can overcome the shit i eat just now.
it will bring me down and i will forget i ever was on top of that wave
I will be dumped!

sugar, coffee, do me in

I am not stronger than chemicals
the choice is mine to have the sugar in my coffee
once done, I live with the depression if I want to drink the sweet mud.

discipline v thinking happy thoughts

My happy insights come when I am in a disciplined chemical state.
There is no getting over a lack of discipline with thoughts of happiness.
Discipline is the foundation of happy being.
Happy thoughts may lead to discipline, but they are not in themselves a disciplined state.
I pay the price of food that I indulge in. It is that simple, and the price is high in terms of the ongoing misery I suffer as a result of a few moments of mouth sensation.
I have tested myself all my life and lost each time.
I cannot win over a lack a discipline.
My head is depressed when I eat badly. it does not get more complex than that.
There is nothing simpler than this - eat well to feel happy.
Else, suffer the bear with the sore head!

I have discovered this much I know to be true

1. on the surface of it, everything is nonsense. things are nonsensical, the activities people get up to are nonsensical
2. I am always striving to be working because work is not nonsense. work makes sense. All I want is work because work delivers money, and money makes sense out of the nonsense. money is lovely stuff.
3. I am constantly stressed because most of the time I am unproductive - but the saving grace is that my software is productive. so my software is working for me, freeing me up to make more light and love in my world.
4. because the world does not make sense on the surface of it, the only thing that does make sense is that god is love.
that is why God gives free choice
which means no interference
which means god shows, god does not tell
It is not about other people, convincing them that I Am right. it is about me - knowing that this is true.
god needs people to create love. that is why we are here. that is why everything happens. everything happens in the name of love.
god does not speak directly. god shows directly. shows in the way that I feel, in the way that I experience the world. that is god showing. but never talking. god is inside me. god is love. love is one. flowing thorugh me constantly.
god wants, I should make love.
how does god help me?
by me imagining my desires, god fulfils my desires but guiding me in through word and deed on autopilot. it is set. expect good things!

1. everyone is on my side. they love to help
desire v imagination
Stress is when my desire is one thing, and my imagination expects a fight to get what I want.

imagine this: instead of constant clouds, and a break through to see the light
rather  live with constant sunshine and a few rain clouds which I work through to clear and see the light, and in the process, I know that I am growing.

KNOW THIS
1. people are on my side. everyone is on my side. everyone loves me. one love in my world is real.
2. the worry wart within me steals the light from my life force.

want to be powered up and full of force? know that god is on my side - to the extent that my desire and my imagination are in sync, in alignment, let them be one - in that moment, I get what I want.

If you believe...

If you believe in God, there is no rush.

God is love

God is love, everything makes sense, and everything is possible.

It is not a question of if God is love.
Rather a practice of knowing it, owning it. Ownking it.

be strong, it is a decision that God supports!
I was born strong. Born to be strong.

Yes, life is fragile. But the spirit is what makes it strong. And God is beautiful, strong, and there for me always.

You will find what you're looking for if you believe that it is there

You will find what you're looking for if you believe that it is there
If you know the keys are in the house, you will find them
If they are in the house, but you think they may also have been left elsewhere,
your chances are diminished and your search it harder.
Knowing the outcome before it happens is the key.
If you know something exists before it exists, it will come to you faster, easier, beautifully, gracefully.

The Wanting

You come into this world wanting. Ceaselessly wanting.
Chasing.
You want ot control.
You want to snap your fingers and it must happen all at once.
You want to be God, but you are not.
You want to believe in God, and you do, but you do not.
You want to be grateful, but for how long until you forget?
And the wanting starts to rule you again.
You identify with it. You become it. You're a WaNT.

How to stop the wanting?
It is not so much a matter of stopping the wanting.
It is more a matter of stop trying to control everything.
God is love. What is there to control?
Know my desires, and they will come to fruition.
Be grateful in the moment. Be grateful for the life that I am.
For I am always around, but I am not always alive.
Be alive to the life that I am, celebrate that.
Rushing destroys the celebration.
Calibrate the movements I make.
List them carefully, then follow them.
List:
1. Experience gratitude.
2. Know my goals. Long medium short immediate
3. Continue, and chop wood.

Coffee is not enlightenment

Coffee is not a substitute for enlightenment.

Take the time daily, have a routine.

Make space for the light.

Open to the light.

do not expect to drink and eat my way into it.

Be mindful of it. Take the time to be mindful. Set the light in motion.

Say the Sh'ma.

Breathe. Be. Stop chasing, rushing. Let go of SirVival for a few moment. And just be.

Relax your eyes. Bring power to my eyes. Replace the hardened stare with a shining vital light - be home. Be at home.

Presence in the present moment

How can I have presence if I am not in the present moment?
How can I be in the present moment if I am always looking to get the next item off my to do list so that I can 'relax' in to the present moment?
How can I catch my breath if I deny my right to be happy with the way things are exactly as they are, right now.
Become one.
Be one.
the activity is not the goal.
the way I present myself in my eyes shows my lack of present moment being.
My eyes are often taking strain. it shows. there is no power in them. they are far away. never here. always waiting for my to do list to be done. soon my life will be done. and my to do list goes on and on.
Before enlightenment,chopping wood
After enlightenment, chopping wood.
Start the day, bring the light.
It does not happen on it's own.
It is my responsibility to make it happen.
Have a routine.
It counts more than coffee.

Focus on the flower

Hi

Focus on the flower, not the thorns.
Focus on the flower
the flowers
and then
everything keeps comin' up roses and petals of joy

Love

God is love
It is not a matter of God loving me
It is a matter of me connecting to the love that is constantly there for me to allow to flow through me
It is not that I am loved
It is that I allow the love
how to do this
be here
how to do that?
be grateful in this moment for anything / something / anything
feel the gratitude, and I will be in the present moment
and I will be one
the love will flow

Dream or Goal or just something in the distance

Set a goal that excites me, Apple.
Think about it, does it move me?
If not, then the path to get there will feel boring.
But a goal that inspires me will generate enough fire to get me through the boring parts.
Keep focused.
I have 10 years to build a software company with many many product that people love to use and derive great utility from.
I generate revenue from many streams that flow together to become a surging river.
I am not here forever. Do it now.

gratitude now

to access gratitude, be here in the present moment. gather yourself. all of you, here now.
open arms and gather in.

pull it all together and make a decision
stop letting life run me. run life. make a decision.

Happiness on the list of things to do

There is always something to do before I get to the Happy item on the list of things to do and clear out.
Happiness is never urgent, does not take priority, and it always reserved for when things are perfect.
there is always something more important to do right now than take in this moment, be grateful and be happy. I put other people ahead. I put survival ahead.
before gratitude chopping wood
after gratitude chopping wood
let's chop and be happy

Addictive substance defined

An addictive substance - you want it when you feel good, and you want it when you feel bad. you just want more.
An addict - you want the stuff when you feel good, and you want it when you feel bad. somehow you want to regain a certain comfort zone, even if it is uncomfortable. that's your homeostasis. growth is when you're able to get out of a comfort zone, and create a new one.

chemistry is more powerful than prayer. but prayer affects chemistry. it just depends on how you access your chemistry. food and stimulants are much easier than prayer. but an effective thought that is inspiring does change your chemistry. and without side effects. it is just easier to eat than it is to stop and think and consider.


do not think about the sh'ma. I do it. then I am not, an Idiot.

thinking about prayer is not he same as doing it.

pray about the same thing daily. the sh'ma is about love. do it daily and become one with love. Build something so that in 20 years time I embody the sh'ma. thinking about it will not do it. Doing it will.
Do it to Become it. 

Food & nourishment

I need some soul food today - something that powers me through the day.

I need a line that wires me up, connects. me.

What will it be?

A sweet frangipani perhaps?

Gratitude

Gratitude is the dappled light I love so much.
Gratitude will keep me healthy.
Gratitude is knowing how good the present moment is.

Expect to be Strong

Be strong. Claim it. Just f.claim it. Permesso not required. Be it.
Take it
Don't fake it
Know it
Don't show it
Know it
It show, don't it
I am the whole world
there is no other
there is no other
I am it.

there it is.
it is there.
here I am.
be here. always be here, and know that I am here.

Peephole will look
peephole will say
but what do they know
they know little
I know a lot
I am not trying to convert them
just myself
believe me I know
go far, Apple, go far.
to that farmhouse in Provence
meet me there.
I will be there

do not ask other people
they will never say yes.
it doesn't work that way
God always says yes,
no need to ask
Need to be strong and know
that is where you go

Busy day

I have a really busy day today, packed with things do do, and no time to do them all.
I'd better make time for God first.

Chemistry is reality

Your experience of the world is largely determined by your chemistry.
If you are not in balance, the world is tiring
If you in balance, the world is alive with possibility.

Pressing down on me

Pressure, pressing down on me
my own head is in a vice
I am not nice
I am out of control
I am a head troll.

So what is the answer, you loser of note
another note to me, something rubbish I wrote
to keep me afloat
hoping that tomorrow I will be a better man
a bigger, stronger, kinder man
for today I am fucked
well and truly fucked.
and it is of my own doing. and that is that.

Fucked in the head

Oops I did it again
I ate like a pig
Now I feel the pain
I add the cake
My happiness is fake
I have a headache
Can't think straight
My life it can't wait
I am always late

What is it with me?
I cannot be good Do as I know I should

Can't listen to myself
I take myself there
One day I am happy
then Monday I am dead
It is not all in the head
I want to stay in bed

Can't handle my self
can't handle my life
So I blame my wife

time to let go
of the bad things I know
let my god show
I'm no potato

I want to sit there
all neat
without a care
would i dare

others have done it,
no not I
I fear the control
so I lose it in total

I know everything
and yet I am fucked
the reason is simple
a lack of faith
of discipline when there is no faith
and of faith when there is no discipline
I want to be different
yet I am the same
wallowing in glory
alone in the dirt

fleeting time

time is fleeting.
is it?
yes, when looked at through the binoculars backwards.
but in the present moment, time is not fleeting. it is actually quite slow.

back to feeding the ants

their business of life is to eat flies. is that meaningful? not essentially. but taken as a whole, given the whole scheme of things, yes, there is meaning. at any rate, it is satisfying to swat a bzzzz and have the ants carry it away within minutes.

Ben says

Ben in the bath tub:
"Daddy, put your feet in the bath"
"Why?"
"Because it makes me happy"

priceless.

Feeding flies

Today I discovered a new sport. Fly swatting - hit them on the window, they drop onto the sill, and the ants come and collect them within minutes. So at least the ants are fat and happy.
Heidi is still petrified and refuses to even sit under my desk. Poor little pooch.
here is another irritating buzz. gotta go.

It's all in the mind (not)

That was a real mind-fuck for me - "It's all in the mind"

It took me round in circles for many years, decades even. It is a saying that a survivalist mentality would subscribe to.

Its all in the mind is what I believed. Therefore I could not believe in God. Because God was also in the mind - just a figment of my imagination.

I can say that all in the mind is not a belief that served me well. It got me locked up inside my mind, and cut me off and got me disconnected from God.
Not that I am especially connected to God right now - but at least I know that God is not all in my mind; I know that there is a God that exists independently of my mind, of my thoughts, of my ego.

Does God know me, care for me?
I think that God loves me; but I think that this love is objective, it is not personal in that God does not specifically love Apple Cohen.
I think that God made me so that I could make love and make the world a meaningful place.
What counts is to make love. I love making money. God loves making love. Beauty is God showing not telling. God shows love. We are never told. God does not need to speak. God shows.

Does God show me personally? Yes, to the extent that I ASK.

love love love God prayer.

Know that God is one, God is love, God is real. then pray. ASK! asking means connection. survival prompts me to ask. and that is the right thing to do. going it alone is not what makes god happy. connection is. so ask. please pass the salt. stop stretching over table...

Side effect

The unwanted side effect of life is death

The side effect of living is dying

The main purpose of life is to live

The main purpose of death is to remind you to live and love being alive; to live and love the people in your life

So, I love you! xxx ivi xxx

The re-discovery of curry

Good curry, not hot chillies, have given me a boost. the trick now is not to waste it, overdo it, test it. Be wise.

So this is 2015

I realize that my present self has no sense of connection to my future self. I am therefore impulsive.
So I will now use this technique.
1. Stop before I scoff.
2. Bring my future exhausted and limp self into my body now. Let it take hold. 
3. If I do this effectively, there is no way I will indulge because the pleasure I derive from the present moment of indulgence cannot be greater than the 24 hours of dragging myself through life that will follow.
4. Yes I hear you : what will I do with all that happy energy. There is nothing to do with it because I am so stuck. My answer is this Ivan. Provence. that is what I will do. That is what I will BE.

It is who I am when I am the disciplined ONE.