I got home and my pot plants had died.
I loved them.
If you give love, the flowers do not survive.
You have to give water.
You cannot give love and say it will live
you have to give water.

Decision

The life I lead is the decisions I make.
The knowing. Decide with knowing. The rest becomes a natural flowing.
There is no need to force anything.
Just make the decision, know my power, the power of God, and it will be done. No shouting ad pushing and worrying required.

God is love, yes

I always say that God is love.
And what I do is take care of my survival. I have become a total control freak - controlling everything in my environment, in the name of survival, not in the name of love.
So I have an idea.
How about I do the love part, and God does the survival part?
How about I create / generate love; and trust God to take care of my survival? (i.e. provide all the money I need to complete my decisions?)
I love that.

So when it comes to communicating, communicate from the standpoint of love.
When dealing with Helen and Ben, do not be a survivor, be a lover.

Discipline results in being in the moment and being happy with it

Staying connected is the ultimate reason for discipline.
It is the reason for being here, the meaning of life. Connection - a feeling of good energy, is the reward for being disciplined.

be still and be connected. rush, and be connected. run and be connected. eat, sleep, talk. do all this and be connected. connected to what? the original energy that made me. that I am. Love. The energy of love. Love is all. God is love. God is show don't tell. Love is show don't tell. Love is being connected, because then I am happy, n a happy space. connection is not dependent upon activity or circumstance, it is dependent upon discipline. True discipline is rare. Discipline allows me to resonate on a higher frequency, tune in to a higher frequency, and attract a better message that flows through my heart to all my cells and materialises as a wonderful person to be near.
Be generous with my connection. it allows others to connect. help them if they need help. be kind.

I am always postponing connection until the space is perfect, waiting until the job is done.
rather - be aware of connection, that it is not dependent on the activity at all. there is no such thing as a perfect activity. there is only perfect connection.
I am always rushing to get through what I am doing, postponing happiness unitl it is done, only to find that another urgent activity fills its place. A lot of rushing.
being in the moment
being in the circumstance
being in the situation
accept it, do not fight it. the trick is to be connected.

there is no such thing as love - there is show don't tell. that is love. this is how you show it:
Posture
Discipline is rare
Yoga
Awareness
Kindness (result is no warts :)
Beauty

Why discipline?

Discipline is my best way of ensuring that the person (me) who reads this tomorrow, is as disciplined as the person who wroote this today. Being consistent.
see i am sending messages from myself today when i feel great, in the hope that i will maintain this greatness of being connected and feeling clear headed and energised (even though not much sleep due to Ben).
So eat well, and be well... and go tell no man. do not instruct others what to eat nor seek their approval for my nutritional methodology. simply carry on and eat and do not speak of things that I do or do not eat. just be well :)
I am taking a snapshot of today in the hope that it becomes a movie of today, tomorrow and the next day, a continuous stream of discipline. any reason I have to break the code is simply an excuse. and it is me, listening to a voice that feeds off my lower energy. if I want to be rare, then remember, true discipline is rare.

A litte discipline goes a long way

A little dip in discipline also goes a long way.

A small quick treat can my energy for long defeat.

the exe to run, that little script that can keep me on my quest to remain disciplined and not succumb to momentary lapse of discipline - it is this:
with energy, I am strong, and can't go wrong.  I can handle anything. My posture is strong too. But when I lapse, even the perfect circumstance and situation is meaningless. rendered meaningless and miserable, and I am a slump.

the thing is, what is bigger for me?
to vres and vres, es and es. oh yes it is so nice, but is it really?

discipline always pays.
overeating on the other hand will always reduce a perfect day to a miserable struggle against myself. I am weak. tired. Struggling. and life becomes meaningless. i am not strong. i am really a zombie.
the biggest treat I can enjoy is actually not space nor is it delicious food - it is strength, clarity, connection.
overeating makes me disconnect - always. and when I am disconnected, I am lost.
the biggest holiday I can have is to maintain absolute discipline. my energy is great, and I love being alive and I can handle the tough spots easily. when I am disconnected, tough spots seem impossible, and a great day just passes me by without me even being there.

a true true holiday is not a rest from discipline, it is absolute discipline! then watch me soar. be there for ben and helen. be stronger and stronger. rise above. see where next to go. see i think i may be bored and have all this energy and nothing to do with it. so i may as well eat and be tired. but tha tis bullshit. clear energy means i will be creative, constantly creative, connected - things come to me, and they take me higher.

discipline is:

when I feel great, I feel no compulsion to eat shit. and I feel great when I eat good food. then I am unassailable. so when I slip, I am angry at myself and punish myself further by eating more shit.
remember, I am really great. and I can feel great again. sooner than later. so hold off the punishment when I am down. and I will bounce back. just give me a change. all is not lost. I will be found again.