Einstein

At 26, he conjectured that everything in the universe is a repository of energy.
E=MC2 theorized that converting a small amount of mass would release an enormous amount of energy. The atomic bomb demonstrated this.

SO Einstein was a genius.

And I am not.
But I am here.
That makes me what?
Well, for one, I am the only one in the world, or my world?
The world.
I am the only one in the world.
I am the only one who experiences the world.
Nothing else matters really.

Usually, I am lost. In that I am not in touch with my source. I am living externally. I am disconnected from my drive. So I am driven by the hunt for external energy sources. And my own, my very own energy source remains hidden, untapped. And so I feel lost. Cut off. Alone. Powerless. Vulnerable. Waiting.
Eckhart Tolle calls it the Power of Now. The present moment is all we have. But what clue does that give me as to my own energy source. God within me. ET says the PM is all I have, so best be in it now.
But I know this: I am awareness. SO best be aware of the source that powers me up. The original energy.
When I eat badly, my energy goes out of my body, sending me searching for new sources of bad external short-lived energy. Sugar energy. Superficialy energy.
Still rivers run deep.

Again.
What am I?
Awareness.
I am aware of my level of connection to source.
I have switched source to food.
And yet, whilst food is not source, it can certainly cut me off from source because when I eat badly, I get disconnected. Now never mind the rest of the 7 billion people in the world.
I remain, the only one in  my world. the only one responsible for the world I live in, for the world that I am. there is no one else.
My world is sensitive, and easily thrown out of balance. Chemicals undo me. Disconnect me from source. And yet, how connected am I? My connection, the strands of my bond seem to be awfully weak.
So for me, chemistry is key to feeling like King.
If I have more int he the name of enjoyment, the price is fucked up energy, low energy, aggressive energy, feeling out of sorts. and low money too. Low money demonstrates my low energy.
Is this true for everyone in the world? I guess yes, but in my case, it is very apparent and very extreme. there is no getting away with it. looking at other people does not help me.
Getting frustrated with my energy and then turning to food that is bad for a quick fix results in long term damage and low energy.
Discipline is what is required when my energy is fucked. So that I do not fuck it up further.
So vision is required. Go beyond the present moment. And go into the present moment. Do not try escape it. Feel it fully. And go to my vision fully. Maintain vision. Strong energy. Strong me. Powerful me. Do not test me. I will fail.

So what is my vision then?

France, Provence.
Strong body.
Powerful body.