BIG

I am small. That is my self image. If feel small. Insignificant. I do not count, I will not be missed.
My job is to turn that around. For it is as true as it is false.
Physically, I feel my size to be small. I want to be broad, solid.
See it. If I focus on it, I will be it.
See this:
R300K per month, earned from my own software that people love to use and enjoy using.

Posture. Maintain a good posture. It reminds me to maintain awareness.

SO much to do. So much to do that I would rather not do.
what would I rather do?
Right now, nothing. I need to be still.
Be still and know God.
the intensity of my emotions sets creation in motion.
by feeling nothing, there is nothing
whip up the loveliest emotion I can
I owe it to myself

what excites me? a lifetime of free time? of no pressures of responsibility? of me time? of time spent alone, thinking, appreciating the silence of the moment, interspersed by birdsong and espresso?
Doves cooing. It does not excite me, it makes me feel at peace. There is no achievement in that. but being here to hear the doves coo, that is actually a great achievement!

 a double story home, with sunlight, sunshine through the windows, trees, views, fully carpeted, beautiful kitchen and bathroom, plus live-in quarters, with private office. yes, I say yes.
even though I sit here writing this, I am tense. because there is so much on the to do list.
that will never change. so Why push me. set aside another 15 mins for this activity. then make a list. follow it. and love everything i do because i have wonderful energy.

no time to pee. i need this time to be here and be still. it feels good. do not distract me with a full bladder. that is just an excuse.

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