Setting me back

I know I am going to do it to myself again. But really, I wish I would not.

When I have 2 espressos:

1.       Yes I feel buzzed on the day.

2.       And then that night I do not sleep well. Restless, light sleep without rejuvenation.

3.       And then the next day I wake up late, fragile. Insecure. Shell shocked. Dizzy, weak. No strength, no power. Aged, wrinkled. No exercise. No will power.

4.       The time for will power is the time before I drink the poison. After that, I cannot cope. I am useless. Unhappy. Depressed. Too tired to be in Provence.

5.       I am destroying Provence with a second espresso.

Is it worth it?

No. Even with a high of yesterday? NO! Not worth it. It is like taking one leap up, and then falling down a flight of stairs. Bump bump crash to the bottom.