lovely dream, now make it real, daily

Monday, 20th, 2014

Spent the weekend at Bartholemeus Klip, so nice, so peaceful, mountains, light, birdsong, fresh air, space.

Then I had a dream on Sunday night/Monday am.
Vanessa was going overseas, and she looked fully recovered and well.
Karen came from a help course, and she showed me the course material. It was a lot of text and she had highlighed the parts she liked (foolscap pages).
I poo-poohed the stuff, and thought to myself - Discipline is what you need. Eat well, be disciplined, and the rest will take care of itself.
But then one line of highlighed text called out at me, and I re-read the line. In my dream, I told myself to take special note, it is important. Stop and think about this, and recognise it.
It read "........love, love, love, God, prayer."
And I realized that love precedes discipline. Love is the common denominator. Love is the foundation that success is built upon.  I will not sabotage myself, my self discipline, if I have love first. Willpowering my way to self discipline fails me time after time.
Give up forcing control. Allow love. Recognise that God is real. And pray to God. Ask for what I want. Ask. Asking is connection. Do not hide. Ask! God loves it when I ask for directions.

Yom Kippur

04 Oct 2014
I am going crazy. I am Jewish, but I am not religious in terms of following the tradition.
SO much pain and suffering in the name of being the chosen people leads me to conclude that we have declared ourselves chosen, but God has not. Which is not to say that God does not love us. But it is to say that God does not choose us above any other religion or nation. We make our own destiny according to the objective laws that God set in motion when the world came into being.

God is love. We choose everything else. Love is free choice, that is the danger and the beauty of love. And that is why love is rare. And so is discipline.

Food and prayer

Food is instant gratification. It helps my mood instantly. And then may affect it negatively later, especially if it is comfort eating.
Prayer does not give instant gratification. It often feels as if nothing is happening. But then later, I notice a softening, an upliftment. The prayer did come through for me where food could not.
Do not rely only on food. Prayer is discipline too.